110+ Funny Corny Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

Corny Jokes

1. Why do skeletons not fight with one another?
They don’t have the guts.

2. Why do not eggs joke?
They may crack up.

3. Why did the computer see a doctor?
It had a virus.

4. What would one call counterfeit pasta?
An impasta.

5. Why do not skeletons use telephones?
They don’t have the right connections.

6. Why did the scarecrow receive an award?
He was outstanding in his field.

7. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired.

8. What is cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho cheese.

9. How do cows get news?
They read the moo-spaper.

10. Why did the coffee make a police report?
It got mugged.

11. Why won’t oysters give to charity?
They’re too shellfish.

12. Why don’t skeletons ever go to the snow?
They’re afraid of frostbite.

13. Why don’t some couples work out at the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.

14. What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

15. How do you plan a space party?
You planet.

16. Why did the chicken cross the road to join the band?
It had drumsticks.

17. How do you get a tissue to dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

18. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.

19. Why do cows have hooves and not feet?
Because they lactose.

20. How does a penguin construct its house?
It igloos it together.

21. Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.

22. What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Stick with me, and we’ll go places!

23. Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field.

24. Why was the belt arrested?
For holding up a pair of pants.

25. What’s green and sings?
Elvis Parsley.

26. How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

27. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room?
The living room.

28. Why was the bicycle so tired?
It had two tires.

29. How does Moses make his coffee?
He brews it.

30. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.

31. Why did the baker go to therapy?
He kneaded it.

32. What did the penguin say to the waiter?
“I’ll have the fish, but no sides.”

33. Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing.

34. What did the chair say to the desk?
“I’m sitting here waiting for you.”

35. How do cows keep track of current events?
They read the moo-spaper.

36. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

37. Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.

38. Why don’t skeletons ever use elevators?
They’re afraid of the shaft.

39. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.

40. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

41. Why don’t skeletons ever go out in the snow?
They’re afraid of frostbite.

42. What did the coffee say to the sugar?
“You make me feel sweet.”

43. Why did the chair refuse to sit down?
It had back problems.

44. How do you organize a space party?
You planet.

45. Why do skeletons hate parties?
They have no body to go with.

46. Why did the snowman call for a doctor?
He had frostbite.

47. What do you call a pile of cats?
A meow-tain.

48. How do cows make decisions?
They make moo-tual agreements.

49. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite instrument?
The drums—they always sound like bones.

50. Why did the chair become an actor?
It wanted to have a role.

51. What did one pencil say to the other?
“You’re looking sharp!”

52. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They might crack under pressure.

53. Why did the bicycle need a nap?
It was two-tired.

54. What’s green and sings?
Elvis Parsley.

55. Why don’t skeletons use cell phones?
They don’t have the right connections.

56. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.

57. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up.

58. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.

59. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired.

60. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.

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61. Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.

62. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room?
The living room.

63. Why don’t skeletons ever use elevators?
They’re afraid of the shaft.

64. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

65. Why don’t cows have money?
Because the bull is always in charge.

66. What do you call fake pasta?
An impasta.

67. What do you call a dog magician?
A lab-ricadabra.

68. Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.

69. Why don’t eggs tell secrets?
They might crack.

70. Why do skeletons never attend the party?
They have no body to attend with.

71. Why was the bike so exhausted?
It had two tires.

72. What did the coffee comment to the sugar?
“You make me feel sweet.”

73. Why did the chair seek therapy?
It had back issues.

74. Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

75. How do you plan a space party?
You planet.

76. Why did the baker attend therapy?
He kneaded it.

77. What would you name a stack of kittens?
A meow-tain.

78. Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.

79. Why don’t skeletons use phones?
They don’t have the right connections.

80. How do cows get the news?
They read the moo-spaper.

81. Why was the computer cold?
It left its Windows open.

82. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.

83. Why don’t skeletons go on vacations?
They don’t have the stomach for it.

84. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus.

85. What did the pencil say to the sharpener?
“Stop grinding me!”

86. What do you call a lazy dog?
A slobber-dog.

87. Why don’t skeletons go to parties?
They have no body to dance with.

88. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.

89. How does a penguin build its house?
It igloos it together.

90. What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

91. Why did the bicycle need a nap?
It was two-tired.

92. Why was the calendar so good at school?
Because it had dates for every occasion.

93. Why did the snowman call for a doctor?
He had frostbite.

94. Why was the computer so cold?
It left its Windows open.

95. Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi.

96. Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work.

97. What’s green and sings?
Elvis Parsley.

98. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.

99. Why don’t eggs ever argue?
Because they always crack under pressure.

100. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.

101. Why did the janitor go to therapy?
He had a lot of cleaning up to do.

102. Why don’t skeletons ever tell secrets?
Because they don’t have any guts.

103. Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.

104. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room?
The living room.

105. Why don’t skeletons use cell phones?
They don’t have the right connections.

106. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired.

107. What’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.

108. Why don’t skeletons ever play music?
They don’t have any bones to play with.

109. Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.

110. What did one wall say to the other?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”

111. Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other?
They don’t have the gu=ts.

112. Why did the belt get arrested?
It was holding up a pair of pants.

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