60+ Funny Pirate Jokes and Puns to Make You Laugh Ahoy!
Ahoy, matey! Get ready to set sail on a sea of laughter with this collection of funny pirate jokes and puns. Whether you’re a young buccaneer or a seasoned sailor, these jokes are sure to make you laugh louder than the waves crashing against the shore. From classic pirate puns to silly one-liners, we’ve got something for every pirate at heart. So grab your eyepatch, hoist the Jolly Roger, and get ready to laugh out loud with these hilarious pirate-themed jokes!
Funny Pirate jokes
Here are 22 Funny Pirate jokes for you:
1. Why do pirates not shower before walking the plank?
Because they’ll just wash up on shore!
2. Why did the pirate get expelled from the ship?
Because he was behaving too salty!
3. Why did the pirate go to the gym?
To exercise his arrrrrrms!
4. What is a pirate’s favorite school subject?
Arrrr-t!
5. Why don’t pirates enjoy algebra?
Because they can’t handle the X!
6. What is the name of a pirate with two legs, two hands, and two eyes?
A beginner!
7. Why are pirates good fishermen?
Because they know how to hook ’em!
8. What is a pirate’s worst vegetable?
Leeks—because they sink the ship!
9. How do pirates measure the ocean?
A yarrrrdstick!
10. What did the pirate get when he swallowed a coin?
He had a bad case of booty cramps!
11. Why did the pirate turn into a musician?
Because he had the ideal hook!
12. Why did the pirate purchase a deck of cards?
Because he heard there was a buccaneer!
13. What do pirates consume on chilly days?
Chilly con carn-arrrrr!
14. What did the ocean tell the pirate?
Nothing, it just waved!
15. Why do pirates enjoy dad jokes?
Because they always make you groan like a ship in a storm!
16. Why was the pirate worst at baseball?
He always struck out at sea!
17. Why do pirates never get lost?
They always follow the “X”!
18. What is a pirate’s worst favorite music?
Dock and roll!
19. What do pirates wear during winter?
Long Johns!
20. Why did the pirate become a lawyer?
Because he was good at sea law!
21. What do pirates do when they catch a cold?
They sail to the dock!
22. Why was the pirate always late?
Because he kept sailing on island time!
Pirate jokes for kids
Here are 20 Pirate jokes for kids:
1. Why did the pirate go to the beach?
Because he wanted some arrr-and-sun!
2. What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school?
Arrrr-t class!
3. Why do pirates always carry a sword?
Because they arrr-n’t allowed to have guns!
4. What do pirates eat for breakfast?
Cap’n Crunch!
5. Why did the pirate sit on a paper towel?
Because he wanted to be on a bounty!
6. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish?
A goldfish, because they love treasure!
7. Why did the pirate get kicked out of the store?
Because he took a plank without paying!
8. Why don’t pirates play hide-and-seek?
Because good luck hiding when you have a parrot yelling, “He’s over here!”
9. What’s a pirate’s favorite animal?
An arrr-madillo!
10. Why did the pirate go to music class?
Because he wanted to learn how to play the sea-shanty!
11. What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?
Plank-ing!
12. Why do pirates love fishing?
Because they always catch a big booty!
13. What’s a pirate’s favorite sport?
Sailing!
14. Why do pirates always win arguments?
Because they have the last word-arrr!
15. What do pirates call their friends?
Their mateys!
16. What’s a pirate’s favorite vegetable?
Arrrr-tichokes!
17. How do pirates say “hello”?
“Ahoy there!”
18. Why did the pirate take a shower?
Because he smelled a little fishy!
19. What did the pirate do on his birthday?
He had a yo-ho-ho-cake!
20. Why did the pirate go to the library?
To find a treasure map!
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Pirate Puns
1. I’m reading a book about pirates.
It’s a treasure trove of knowledge!
2. A pirate’s favorite exercise?
The plank-ing workout.
3. Why don’t pirates use calendars?
They prefer to live life on their own time—pirate time!
4. What’s a pirate’s favorite fish?
Goldfish—they’re always after treasure!
5. What did the pirate say to the restaurant waiter?
“I’ll have the plankton soup, please!”
6. How do pirates prefer their drinks?
Rum-chilled.
7. Why did the pirate buy an iPhone?
He wanted to sea better.
8. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You’d think it’s R, but it’s really the C!
9. Why was the pirate bad at math?
Because he couldn’t count on anything.
10. How do pirates keep their pants up?
With a belt of gold—it’s all about staying on track!
11. What’s a pirate’s favorite sport?
Sailing, of course—it’s always about the current!
12. Why do pirates make great DJs?
Because they know how to spin a good tune!
13. What do pirates eat for breakfast?
Cap’n Crunch, naturally.
14. Why do pirates wear eye patches?
To keep their eyes sharp for treasure hunting.
15. Why did the pirate fail his driving test?
He couldn’t navigate the course.
16. What did the pirate say to the sailor at the bar?
“Let’s raise a glass—*to the *good ol’ days!”
17. What did the pirate do when he was asked if he needed help?
“I’m just *looking for some hook to make it through the day!”
18. Why do pirates prefer to talk in sea riddles?
Because it’s a way to make people *think * outside the box!
19. What do you call a pirate with no treasure?
A poor man’s pirate—he’s just sailing through life.
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Conclusion
There you have it, a pirate joke and pun treasure chest to make you laugh through your next high seas adventure! Whether you’re sharing these jokes with your crew, telling them at a party, or just want to add some sunshine to your day, these jokes are sure to add some fun to your pirate existence. So, don’t forget to have your compass set for humor, and be prepared to laugh with a good “Arrr!
